Cover Story: Alex Okoroji, Talks About Her Evolution and Reinvention as the Queen of Expression

Our Cover Girl for this edition is none other than ‘not-just-a pretty-face’, multi-passionate, Actress, Media Personality, Reinvention Coach and Creative Consultant, ALEX OKOROJI, also known as "Queen of Expression".

Alex expresses her brilliance in diverse roles, and she SHINES brightly through them all!

She received our 2020 Shine Legacy Award in Media at our prestigious gala event held on February 22, 2020 in London, and since gracing our stage at the Leap and Shine Conference, we couldn't wait to have her on the cover of SHINE.

Our Editor-In-Chief, Clara Rufai was very excited to sit down to a chat with the engaging Alex to discover some of the elements that make this woman the non-conformist Truth-Seeker and value-bringer she is! Alex did not disappoint!

This interview is very revealing and definitely one you do not want to rush, so we recommend you sit down with a drink, plump up a pillow behind you, put up your feet, tuck in and ENJOY!

1. As "Queen of Expression": what does EXPRESSION mean to you and how did your upbringing influence your desire to express yourself?

To me, expression is what I'll like to define as communication first and manifestation second, so it's a communication of who you are and a manifestation of who you desire to become. When we say someone is at their highest expression, it means they are communicating their brilliance, but they also manifest that brilliance into something tangible. They manifest their desires into existence. This is a very simple explanation of what expression is.

Growing up for me, being born into an artistic family enhanced expression for me in the sense that my father was a musician and my mom, a fashion designer. I grew up in a household surrounded by a lot of books, a diverse collection of music, fashion catalogs, magazines and movies. I grew up seeing different forms of expression; I grew up seeing how people used all these different mediums to communicate things that were happening in the society, things that they believed in, or just their personal experiences. So for me, I think growing up in a house where I could read books, watch movies, explore fashion and just artistry in its entirety, enhanced expression for me.

2. You’re multi-talented: you express yourself in many creative forms. How are you able to weave through each of these roles? And do you feel pressure to be better?

I always joke privately about being the President of the Association of Confused Creatives. Why? Because society labels multi-talented and multi-passionate creatives as "confused people". The world is certainly easier for the 'single talents'. People who have a more focused area of interest, passion or skill. Unfortunately, I didn't give myself these talents. God blessed me with multiple talents and I decided, when it's time to go - I will die empty. I wanted to use them all to challenge the limiting belief that "Jack of All Trades is Master of None". Not in this era, and not true in my own case.

I became the Queen of Expression because I didn't want to choose one of my many talents over the others. I wanted the freedom to explore and express the fullness of my talents and artistry. Let me explain. If you gather 8 different people in a room and ask them to describe Alex Okoroji, I can guarantee you that one would say "Alex is an Actress." Perhaps the person's connection to me is through one of the TV Soap Operas or Movies we've worked on together or they watched. In fact, the person may not know that I'm also an Author of 4 books, they may never have read a single word I have written.

Another person might say "Alex is a writer". Maybe their connection to me was through my initial blog or books. The person might have never watched me in a movie or on Television. Another will claim "Alex is a Radio Host" because perhaps they only know me through my radio show or my podcasts but have never read an article I wrote. Another might say "Alex is a Speaker or Coach", perhaps they saw me speak at an event, attended a masterclass I taught in or connected with me through another coach. Someone else will say "Alex is a Web Designer or Graphic Designer" because maybe I designed their website and visual branding.

Another might say "Alex is a Publisher" because I published their books, they may not even know that I'm a speaker or radio host. Another might say that "Alex is a Media Content Producer" because I produced their podcast or TV Show. Another might say "Alex is my Brand Consultant" because their connection to me is through the work I do developing, managing and building their brands through my company. All of them are correct, even though they would be cutting out other important elements of who I am.

Alex Okoroji as the "Queen of Expression" is the combination of these different talents. I refuse to be one without the others. I refuse to choose only one medium and I refuse to be defined as a one-trick pony, when I am a multi-dimensional, multi-talented and multi-passionate woman. And I know there are many creatives like me who are labelled as "confused", when in fact, what they are is GIFTED.

I would say for me - there is a common denominator in these different mediums, one is that I have a singular vision; even though I'm using these different art mediums, I have one primary mission and that mission is to empower people with the freedom to be the highest expression of their truth, talent, and greatness, whatever that is or whatever that looks like to them.

For some, it might just be them being the highest expression of their truth, for others it might just be that they are the highest expression of their talent, and for someone else it might just be a combination of both their truth and talent, which becomes a formidable force for greatness.

How I do this is, is by creating a common value system and synergy between these different mediums, my mission and my message. It means that I have one goal, even as I use all these different mediums; I'm able to use them without creating a disconnection from my main agenda.

Now for pressure, even though I don’t feel external pressure, there is obviously a personal desire to always step into my next level, there is a personal desire for me to do better than my yesterday - that's a personal ambition that I have.

I haven’t felt external pressure since I embraced my "Freedom Mindset" - what I would like to call The Naked Philosophy - for me; there is a sense of freedom. I feel that I'm operating on my clock, I'm not on anybody's clock, I'm not under any pressure to fulfill the societal expectation of who I'm supposed to be. Sure, I used to feel that way in the past, but I no longer feel that pressure of trying to fit into labels, timelines, and general expectations.

As a personal quest, yes, I admit, I want to give more to the world; I want to impact more lives; I want to influence people to achieve deeper transformation; so yes, I am on a personal quest to do better than I am doing, but that is not in connection to any external forces; it is more of an internal (personal ambition) that I have set for myself.

3. What’s the one thing that you recognize as being constant, as you express yourself in your various roles, and if you were compelled to choose, what would you say is your preferred medium of expression and WHY?

As a communicator, I guess the constant thing is my message and mission. I have one goal so whichever form or medium of expression I am using achieves the same outcome—whether I’m on stage, in front of the camera, behind a microphone, holding a pen, designing visuals… I’m on one mission.

That said, if someone asked me to choose a medium - it will be tough because different mediums appeal to me - I am an all-round creative. I absolutely love being in front of the camera. I love taking on characters, but I also wanted my own distinct voice and personality to shine. Different mediums appeal to different people. We will not catch some people ever reading books, but there are people who definitely hold on to the power of words on paper. They are the readers; they enjoy the mystical adventure in reading. Some people are visually inclined - they want to watch something, or want to hear you speak. Some people will listen more because audio is their favourite medium.

So if I had to choose one medium, while I have been noted as a brilliant speaker and I enjoy using my voice as a tool (either on stage or radio). I would probably choose to write, being that I feel like "writing" is the underdog, a very understated "not so glamorous" form of expression, and people don't understand how powerful and valuable writing is. I have heard people say to someone, "He is just a writer". Just a writer? There is nothing simplistic about one's ability to bring words to life.

I feel like "writing" is the big gateway of information, it's the medium that holds the key to information. We would not have music in the world right now if we did not have songwriters, and we would not have books that we all used to learn at schools. Doctors would not even exist if they didn't have textbooks to read, because somebody wrote it.

We would not have films if we did not have screenwriters, scriptwriters, and storytellers... We wouldn't have anything really in the world... we won't have the newspapers we read, we won't have books, we won't have films, we won't have music, we won't have technology, we won’t have the internet, we won’t have anything.

We will all be a bunch of mis-informed, uneducated homo sapiens travelling through life with nothing meaningful to do. Imagine the world without information, imagine the world without a SHINE Magazine.

So just like a mother who loves all her babies, I don’t want to be the mom who has to choose one medium of expression over the other… lol… But if a gun was pointed at me and I had to choose one medium, I would choose my writing, just because I feel like with my writing, I'm in a different world. I'm a different person or better said, I am my most liberal self. I become this free spirit, able to get lost in the inner crevice of my mind. It gives me permission to speak in a voice that I ordinarily could not use in any other medium.

As a speaker, I'm more conscious of what I'm saying, because I am immediately held accountable… And I hold myself accountable. But as a writer, my freedom of expression is at its highest level. I can get lost in fully expressing what I think and how I feel.

I feel like writing gives you permission to just be as flowery and as colourful and as deep as you want to be, or even as shallow as you want, depending on your preference or style. I guess writing will be that medium for me.

4. Despite being a celebrity, a multiple award winner, and someone listed as one of the "Top 250 Most Influential Women in the World" by Richtopia, you come across as down to earth. Is that your nature, or is it something you’ve nurtured? 

I will say both. Yes, it is my nature and yes, I also nurtured it. Let me paint a picture for you.

My parents are very down to earth. My father was a famous musician in his prime, and became one of the most celebrated leaders in the music industry and continues to be that for many… if you've ever met him in person, you will learn he is very down to earth. My mom too has climbed to the apex of what fashion entrepreneurship would be in her prime, but if you meet her too, you would see she is also down to earth.

So obviously I was raised to interact at that human level, and see everybody as human, first. If you come into our family house, you may not tell who is a biological child, or who is a staff, because that's just how we were raised.

So answering your question, that is who I am; but that said - as we grow or we get into the world, especially in the entertainment industry... Fame is intoxicating. We've seen people who had parents like mine or people who were raised to be humble; we've seen them also lose their humility and humanity.

Why I said it's both, it is because even if you are something; you don't stay that way unless you continue to nurture yourself. So yes, I have continued to remind myself not to get lost in fame, not to get lost in praise-singing, not to get lost in the good things people are saying about me. Even though I founded a company and its sub-brands formulated on the concept of BRAG as the bane of its philosophy, BRAG simply means (B)oldly (R)adically (A)chieving (G)oals.

I'm a pretty modest person. I'm not advocating that you become this empty barrel that makes the loudest noise or behave like you are the best thing since jollof rice. The concept is to celebrate the hard-work and tenacity it takes to achieve a goal. So yes, while I can back up any claims of achievements - I have continued to nurture myself, to remain modest, and to remain humble - that's why I said that it's both ways.

5. From your very first blog ‘Alexandra N' Her NAKED Thoughts’, to your international radio show ‘The Naked Talk’, to your self-development hub ‘The Naked Philosophy’, it is obvious the word NAKED carries a deeper meaning for you. Why? And What does it mean to be NAKED?  

When I talk about being "Naked" obviously I'm speaking figuratively, I'm saying emotional nakedness, mental nakedness, a stripping of the mind… not the literal physical nakedness, but of course, physical nakedness isn’t such a dreadful idea… because you also feel free right?… It's funny how people are so scared and ashamed of the word - Naked.

Naked is metaphorical liberation, the idea of existing "without barriers". Existing this way means so much to me, hence why I created The Naked Philosophy. I feel like we as humans get to experience so many things in life, the good, bad, and ugly. Sometimes the good, bad, and ugly define who we are and we run around with all that baggage creating barriers in our lives. Some of those experiences become limiting beliefs, they become a prison and we end up becoming prisoners of our past; we become caged by our fears and become disillusioned by our failures.

Fear has held many of us down... So the entire Naked concept came from stripping down my fears and doubts (which was a barrier) that I needed to overcome my personal struggle with "Perfectionism". It was how I dealt with my separation and divorce and eventually single motherhood, to figure out my life purpose and the way forward, outside of the restriction that comes with fame, the stigma that comes with single parenthood, but also the sense of failure I felt, as I struggled with myself.

I started a naked conversation with myself, because I needed to tell myself the naked truth. Your experiences will only define you as much as you allow it to define you. The naked journey started obviously with writing. I was journaling and just sharing my experience and my naked thoughts, which eventually helped me to heal...and gave birth to other projects and platforms.

For me, being Naked is you being able to strip down all the beliefs, people, and situations that have served as barriers and have held you back from thriving or living at that the highest level of your authentic best. It is that genuine acceptance of who you are, warts and all. It's the honest, transparent, authentic part of yourself that embraces mental liberation, freedom of the mind. The freedom to be whoever you want and achieve EVERYTHING you desire.

The entire concept came from me peeling off certain things that I thought were restricting me, limiting me, and holding me back. I had to peel off all the layers I was covering, strip down emotionally and attempt to SHIFT my perspective and habits—so I could UNCOVER what was left on the inside and reinvent myself.

6. So let’s get NAKED about three things, the concept of Regret, Fear, and Pride. What would you say is your greatest regret? How do you handle fear? Of all your achievements, which one are you most proud of?

Truth, I know this sounds like a cliché, but I don't have any regrets. Just because I think what's done is done, and when we focus our energy on regrets, we are spending time on something we can't change. It's done, it's done, it's gone, it's gone. Being that I'm a solution-focused person, I'm the person who when I have a problem I'm like “what next”? What's the solution? Solution-focused people don't have time for regrets, they just think of a solution. Oh, yeah...what's next? How do we move forward? And that has been my approach to a lot of things.

When things don't go how I want it to go or things end up worse than I've envisioned, sometimes I have that momentarily feeling of overwhelm, I'm like 'Oh my God I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have accepted this' but my next thoughts are you shouldn't have but you did, so stop whining Alex, your whining will not change the reality, it will not change where you are right now. The only solution is to figure out how to move past this situation or deal with it and manage it as best as you can, so you can make progress.

Fear is also something I haven’t felt in a while, to be honest. I used to be a worrier, but over the last few years really delving into the Naked Philosophy, I found a deep level of consciousness that has helped me understand freedom in the context of "free will and possibilities" and how it counters the feeling of fear.

It helped me deal with perfectionism, which was an enormous challenge for me. I always say that freedom is the antidote to fear because freedom and fear cannot exist in the same place. Fear also comes from a place of lack. Somebody who is feeling fear, is someone who is limited and believes he or she has no options. Somebody who feels free understands that they have unlimited options and unlimited possibilities, so what's there to be afraid of because it's either "this" or "that". You know you have options, even if it doesn't feel like the options are clear.

Somebody who is free understands that if it doesn't go well, it doesn't go well. So for me personally I am not feeling any form of fear, to be honest. I get overwhelmed. I get tired. I feel burned out sometimes, but the feeling is certainly not fear because I know that I have the power to create options, there is an abundance of possibilities, there is always a way around something, if I give it a little more thoughts, I will surely come up with a solution.

As for Pride - My biggest achievement would be my son. He is my pride. I’ve had so many career achievements, some I've even forgotten, some I try to remind myself, and some that stand out and ever so brightly.

There are so many things I have achieved - big and small, and I've become the person who is learning to celebrate these things. Still, I think motherhood would be my biggest achievement. Not because every woman should aspire to become a mother, I don't think so... but because the role of motherhood is something I've transcended very well.

Why? I never knew how much of a solid intentional mother I could be, I never knew that I could raise a child by myself and practice conscious parenting. I never really knew what it would take. I wasn’t prepared to do it alone. I don't think anybody really gets prepared for motherhood, even when they have a partner by their side. Much less when you end up single. Many broken people raise broken children. I did not want my child to grow up and need therapy because of my dysfunction. Look at all the broken adults you might know living dysfunctional lives, some of it because of bad parenting or parents who were simply broken people coasting through life.

I think parenting is something we learn as we go on the journey. Nobody is ever fully prepared. So for me that will be my biggest achievement, to know that I'm able to raise another human being 100% dependent on me for everything he needs, for me to provide for him, guide him and raise him all these years, to be brilliant, respectful and loving—as I proudly wear motherhood like a badge of honour. My son, Ray, is definitely my Pride.

7. No matter whom we are, life often gives us hard knocks from time to time. Can you think of a recent setback or challenge you’ve experienced and please share with us the key strategy that you have used to overcome a setback and will gladly recommend?

Sure. I guess solving challenges is the mainstay of a creative person and those in entrepreneurship. Life requires a high level of creativity because every problem requires innovation, every problem requires creativity to overcome these challenges.

To find a solution, you need to be a creative thinking person. So if I have to think about a major setback, it will be when I wanted to start my fashion brand and apparel store, The BRAG Shop (part of the sub-brands I've created). I made the designs myself, found the manufacturers, and we built the e-commerce platform - we were getting ready to launch, and suddenly I received this email that basically just threw back everything that I had done for almost a year leading up to the launch. That was a major setback for me because as somebody who has worked hard on a goal, it devastated me.

I had been promoting the brand; I had worked so hard at it; we were getting ready to launch it, and suddenly we didn't have a platform because I received an email saying they couldn't allow me to use a system I had paid for. I felt like I was being a victim of racism. It was a major setback. I had wasted so much energy and time working and making sure that everything I had done was according to the guidelines and according to the expectation of my responsibility; I had spent a lot of money... registering a US Company, getting the systems ready... and nothing to show for it. But my goal like I said is always to be solution-focused, when something is part of the vision you have to think creatively.

So for me, it was like 'what other platforms could I use to get this done'? Do I have to go with the timeline I promised? Yes, I made all these promises out there but you know what, let's change the timeline, let's change the platform... I felt emotionally devastated. That was very true, but I went back to the drawing board. I found somewhere else; the new platform I found did not tick all the boxes for me, in fact we are still struggling with it, but my focus is on finding a way around it. My advice will be that when challenges happen and when we meet moments like that, there are three things we should do:

1. Be responsive, not reactionary. A lot of us most times are reactionary, we will just react as opposed to thinking, what should my response be? The response doesn't have to be verbal, it could just be an action and it could also be something as simple as "no action". STILLNESS. Also, no action could be pure "silence". Silence could be the right reaction as opposed to lashing out. You should respond to the situation and let that response be in alignment with what you desire as the ultimate result and outcome, not something that works against it or is detrimental to your goals.

2. ‎Be creative. The other thing is for us to be creative and come up with innovative ideas. What will be an alternative solution? How should I go about this problem? What can I do to make this better and solve the problem so I'm able to meet my original goal? Hence, why I consult and help my client's with creative strategy. As humans, we will never lack problems, but if we are creative, we will always have solutions at our fingertips.

3. ‎Stay in control. Understand that you call the shots even when it feels like you are not in control of the situation, you are at least in control of how you respond to that situation. So if you are not in control of the situation, you are at least in control of yourself; you must stay in control of how you allow the obstacle to affect you, demoralize you, or destroy you.

So these are the three things: Respond don't react, come up with a creative solution to address the situation, be in control of yourself even if you're not in control of the situation because you stay grounded even when everyone is catching fire and going crazy, when you are in control of yourself you can manage yourself and your reaction to challenges.

8. You often say that you’ve had to reinvent yourself at different stages of your life and career. First of all, what does REINVENTION mean to you? And is reinvention something you have done consciously and intentionally, or has it been forced on you by circumstances beyond your control?

Reinvention is to recreate, it means to take something old and recreate it to become something new. So, in this case - it was the formative part of me as "Alex Okoroji - The Actress", wearing one creative hat, working on myself, evolving and presenting a much better version of myself.

My initial trigger was definitely based on circumstances, walking away from a failed marriage. But after moving past the problem and healing, reinvention became deliberate and intentional for me.

A lot of the times many of us will allow a situation to trigger us to make changes. Change is the only constant thing. We are all developing, and evolving... still, many of us are changing subconsciously, “not consciously”, and a lot of us are inevitably recreating ourselves subconsciously, not consciously.

So yes, my first trigger was me going through that challenging time in my life, I just became a new mom, my marriage wasn't working, I needed to raise my child; I wasn't sure I could continue to book jobs as an actor.

I wanted to affect lives positively; I wanted to influence people, but I had this old mindset, that the only way I could do that was sticking to my primary job as an actor and through acting in movies, when in fact I could create an impact with anything at all… I didn’t need to be in front of the camera all the time or be on every home screen or billboard for me to create impact… I didn't need to have a million social media followers to impact lives, plus, I had other dormant talents and skills that I wasn't even using. Becoming a single mother forced me to further explore these talents - my writing, speaking, and designing.

So answering your question, the initial trigger was circumstance based, but after that, I understood that the way brands stay relevant was by constantly recreating themselves because reinvention helps you to stay fresh, relevant, on top of the game, and to continue to keep the interest of your audience.

The challenge is that most people wait for their businesses/brands to become stale and redundant before they reinvent things. People wait for their brand to become dormant before they switch things up, but I found out that people who switch things up on the go constantly stay relevant. So I made it a conscious decision to 'up level' my game and offer more value in the world.

Reinvention could be you leveling up. What's that next level? And that's what reinvention is. How do I up-level what I am offering to the world? How do I up-level what I'm putting out there? Is this the only way to present what I have?

Can I do something else that can take things to the next level? Can I do something else that will upgrade what I'm offering now? Reinvention is simply an upgrade, that conscious effort that I make now, and that's what I help my clients to do and it is what I teach my mentees, to constantly upgrade what they are putting out there in the world and in the marketplace.

I noticed so many creatives focus so much on just being "the talent", they mostly don't consider being the business. There are a dime many talents out there. There is always someone gifted with just as much skill to take your place, but when you are 'the business' and your behaviour is aligned with the type of brand you want to become, you walk in your own unique lane - nobody can take your place or take what belongs to you.

9. I recently read your book UNCOVERED in which you took us with you on your journey down the NAKED road from Timid Girl to Confident Woman. In the concluding chapter, you say this: “As I look back at the timid girl, I have become a woman who didn’t let the baggage from my past limit me, pin me down or stop me from going after my goals. What’s on the horizon, and what does your growth trajectory look like in the next 2 to 5 years?

Growth looks like so many things, growth looks like expanding what we are doing with my company - The BRAG Media Group and The BRAG Media Company. Even though I'm the visionary behind The BRAG Media Company, This isn't just a vision for myself, it is a vision that includes so many people and I have this big vision where what I'm doing with creative communication can birth sub-brands that create legacies for everybody who is going to be part of it whether they are staff, collaborators, clients... That it really helps people to create a life they love or kick start their legacy however they get involved with us.

Years from now I see growth as us having several successful sub-brands that are transcending the horizons with different expressions.

For example, I hope that in two years from now The BRAG Radio Network is one of the biggest Global Radio Networks online because that's what it's going to be by God's grace, and The BRAG Shop being in major demand for Uber influencers who love comfort wear. Same for BRAG! Magazine and The BRAG Club. We are currently up-leveling our structure and up-scaling our offerings with these platforms. It's taking a lot of hard-work, strategy and investments. I even had to pause things to go back to the drawing board, and I'm excited about the developments. Truth is that there are so many other things we are creating; I don't want to unleash them all yet… hahaha... We are really creating sub-brands that will really empower people to produce content, embrace their creativity, and understand communication at different levels.

10. As CEO of The BRAG Media Company, how important is the work you do in helping your clients express their brilliance? 

The BRAG Media Company is a global brand consulting, media, and creative agency. The work I do as CEO and Creative Director is very important. I set up the business to help people create a bankable identity, product, service, message, mission, or whatever they will be proud to BRAG about.

So many people are visionaries, they have ideas of what they want to accomplish in the world, but they don't know “how” they are going to get it done, so we are the HOW. We are the plug to creating the life and future you want with your career or business. As the creative midwife for several successful brands (individuals and organisations alike), I understand how important it is to have someone creative on your team, someone who can lead innovation and has the technical skills required to create magic.

We hold not only their hands and guide them; we work with them to create the structure, the creative strategy, and the technical implementation to transform that vision from a dream or idea into actual reality.

So yes, the work we do is very necessary and important. We see people put things out there all the time, half-baked projects, sometimes mediocre execution, and many times there is a disconnection between their non-visual communication and visual communication.

We help our clients tie the loop; we help them make the connection between all these different very important elements, making sure that not only do they birth their ideas and dreams but that they organically sustain it at the highest level possible, because it is one thing to create something and another thing to sustain it. We work with them to create it, put it out there in the world, and keep it growing.

11. When you think of the word SHINE, what first comes to your mind? What does "Shining" look like from your Point Of View (POV)? And what parting words can you share to inspire someone who really struggles to shine?

Shining from my point of view is you being the highest expression of your greatness. It is you being able to not only communicate who you are (as in talk) but manifest your greatness (as in walk the talk). Remember, I said expression is primarily communication and secondarily manifestation. Shining is being the example and representation of our desires and goals. It is living the life we love on our own terms. To me, somebody who is shining, is somebody who has given themselves the freedom to operate without limits, at the highest level of their greatness. My parting words are simple, 'Creativity does not need limits, it does not like limits'.

To learn more or connect with Alex Okoroji, visit her website at www.alexokoroji.me